The best part about attending the Red River College campus downtown, besides the interesting(homeless) people you get to see sleeping on the couches and washing themselves in the bathroom, is a little oasis I like to call the third floor water fountain.
|She may not look like much, but she's got it where it counts.|
Unlike the first floor water fountain, which dribbles out water like it has a swollen prostate, the third floor fountain bursts forth with the exuberance of a 14-year-old boy whose parents are gone for the weekend.
This fountain boasts an impressive eight inch vertical, allowing the drinkers mouth to remain a safe distance from the spout, which is crucial given the aforementioned infestation of filthy downtown homeless peoples.
|Pictured here is the third floor water fountain confidently spraying a consistent stream of refreshing H2O, while the water bottle refill tap watches with feelings of inadequacy.|
While this fountain warrants a visit based on it's impressive projection alone, that is not its only draw. Like the Bo Jackson of fountains, it has two talents. The second talent being it's perfectly cold temperature.
|Bo Jackson seen here celebrating after scoring the game winning touchdown of the 1991 Tecmo SuperBowl. He would later stand trial for accusations of using cheat codes.|
Ok, bad analogy.
I'll say it's more like drinking Jack Frost's tears, after a SUPER bad break up. He didn't even see it coming, he thought things were totally fine, he was actually thinking of asking her to move in with him. So naturally he didn't handle the break up well at all and he's been crying like a LOT! But then the tears got ran through an extensive filtration system to get rid of the salt, but have still somehow retained their coldness through all of this.
Yeah, it's like drinking that!
If I had to choose between drinking from Red River's third floor water fountain or not drinking from it, assuming I am thirsty at the time I would definitely choose to drink from it.
I give this water fountain an A, for awesome. I would have given it an A+, but I can only drink from it when I'm at school which does nothing for my thirst when I'm at home or abroad.